I have recently come to a conclusion: I can't stand most people in my age demographic. People my age still tend to believe that the world revolves around them. They don't consider other people and how their choices will effect those around them. They are catty and stab people in the back. They think that life is one big party and to hell with the consequences that will arrive with the morning light. Self-absorption and immediate gratification are the order of the day. Every day. In short, they are immature.
Now of course I'm not going to hop onto my hypocrisy broom here and say that I never have my moments. Heck, I have my days. I have done things that I know will hurt someone else. I have thought only about myself and my wants. I have made some poor decisions and have lived and am still living with the consequences to many of them. I am not perfect. However, I also know how to shake myself, put on my big girl panties and say "That was stupid. That was wrong. Something needs to change." I own up to my mistakes and I try not to make them again. Unfortunately, I am also a very stubborn person so sometimes I will continue to do whatever it is for awhile. But the whole time, I know it is wrong. I may justify it to myself but deep down I know it is wrong. And eventually I stop justifying and I say "This needs to end." It is part of being an adult to recognize your mistakes and own up to them. Owning up to them doesn't just mean admitting them. It also means taking steps to insure I will not make them again. Saying "sorry" doesn't matter one wit if you are only going to turn around and pull the same stunt.
Last night I went to a club with some of my friends. I was already in a bad mood and was wanting to take a book with me. I was not in a mood for drunk people, guys hitting on me and trying to feel me up, or anything about the whole party scene. But I had agreed to be the designated driver so I was stuck. Plus part of me was hoping that once I got there I'd be able to relax and have fun. I should really know better by now.
My cousin was there and he kept the drunk frat boys away. But we were still surrounded by drunk people. And most drunk people are irritating. I'm not against going out and drinking a little. I'm not against dancing. What I don't like is getting so drunk you can't walk or remember what you did 5 minutes ago, and bumpin' and grindin' with people whose first name you don't know.
I can see why the fundamentalists are so strict. And sometimes I want to go back to thinking that way. Because when you give people freedom, that means they're free to abuse it. They are free to make their own decisions and a lot of the time, it's going to be poor ones. I know why they want to keep a leash on everyone. The reason I don't subscribe to that is it doesn't work. The more rules you give people, the more ways they will find to break them. I saw it at Liberty and I see it now. It is human nature to rebel against someone else's standards. Either way, mistakes will be made and consequences will be suffered. Most of the time the natural consequences are worse than any punishment a human could dole out.
The thing is, I don't mind when certain people drink. But there's a reason. They know how to be adults. They know when enough is enough. They know how to take responsibility for their actions. When most people get drunk, they get loud. They start cussing more. They get in your personal space. They get touchy-feely. When my grown-up friends drink, we talk about theology. The Trinity. (Haha, Rob. :-) ) Social justice. We know how to have fun without making out with the nearest victim. Or hanging all over someone who clearly doesn't want our attention. Or getting to the point where we're holding each other's hair back or holding each other up so we can walk. Has each of us had our stupid nights? Yes. I don't know about the others but it took 2 times of my being drunk for me to say "No more". And both of those times were in the week of my 21st birthday because everyone wanted to buy me a drink.
Partying it up all the time is no way to go through life. We are called to be so much more. Especially if getting drunk means you make those associated with you look bad. And it almost always does. I have been absolutely mortified by the actions of people when they are drunk. Common sense goes a looooong way. And people my age don't seem to have a lot of it. People my age make me want to become a nun and take a vow of silence. There is an adult way to go through life and there is a childish way. I try to choose the adult way. Now, how do I handle the people who choose the childish way?
Saturday, September 08, 2007
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6 comments:
with great freedom comes great responsibility
As much as you may not agree with people going out and making an ass out of themselves being drunk, and you may not make that choice for yourself - give people room to grow. Most responsible adults have at one point had those occasions where they were a little crazy with their alcohol consumption and did some things they regretted later. It's when they continue to do it time and time again that becomes a problem. But a lot of people do learn from what they do and realize where their tolerance lies. Don't be too hard on those that just aren't there yet. ;)
Well, that's all fine and good. But I'm not dealing with it anymore. I've done it and I'm through. I am not playing mom for people who actively decide to act stupid.
Does this mean you'll never be my DD again? ;)
No, because you're an adult about it. I don't have to pull you off everything male that moves.
It’s true we all mess up sometimes… and some people at your age are all about going out and having fun, getting into trouble, trying to get any attention from the opposite sex (even if it’s bad attention, bumping and grinding with strangers) Most of that boils down to low self esteem and they are trying to prove to themselves that many people (the opposite sex) like them. Or it’s about them getting away from strict parents and they are trying to see how much freedom they have (as Maurice said “with great freedom comes great responsibility”) we all want the freedom but not any of the responsibility
Sometimes people will learn from their mistakes and grow from them, but a lot of times they don’t or it takes many years of doing the same mistakes and never learning from them. Or it may take a major mess up to make them change (getting pregnant from a one night stand, catching a disease, getting arrested on a DUI, a bad trip on some drugs, etc..) So then what you need to do is to decide how healthy it is for you to stay by their side as they mess up over and over (playing Mom) or if you need to tell them that you can’t stand by them as they mess up over and over again, grant it this can turn into a huge fight and possibly end a friendship, but it can also be the very thing to make your friend shake themselves and say what am I doing (I state this from personal experience, when a very close friend of mine did this to me, long ago…. We were never quite the same after it, but I can say it made me look at my life and all the ways I was constantly messing up with the same mistake over and over again and decide to straighten up quite a bit)
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