I Believe in Love Despite Hate

When Maurice asked me if I wanted to do Follow the North Star with him, I readily agreed. It's something I had heard about in Jr. high or high school and had wanted to do but never got around to it. We got the tickets a few weeks in advance because the last time we tried, they sold out. I put it in the back of my mind and more or less forgot about it.

The week of, we start talking about it and I get a little nervous. Maurice tells me that he has purposely chosen the latest time we could go and the coldest night of the week. Trying to make the experience "as real as possible". Then the day rolls around and I go over to hang out before we head to Conner Prairie. They had sent us a liability form to sign and a packet explaining that they wouldn't be held responsible for any injuries directly or indirectly caused by this event which for foreseeable or unforeseeable. Then Maurice mentions that the last time he went there was a man riding a horse who could lasso the runaway slaves. i.e. US! Needless to say, by the time we were leaving, my stomach was in knots.

We get there and get stuck with a group of teenagers who were there for an extra credit assignment or something. One of the staff takes the group upstairs to a room where we watch a video about real runaways. Then they hand out these long white strips of cloth and tell us that if we get tired of being verbally abused, all we have to do is tie the string around our head and we will become "invisible". I was clutching that string for dear life. I had just started to feel better when they tell us that the only real threats are the coyotes and the skunks. Maurice, who had been laughing at me the entire day, just laughed some more when I scowled at him over this new bit of information.

They lead us back downstairs and out into the cold. We walked and our "guide" talked about the history behind all of it. I was clutching Maurice's arm with one hand and my piece of string with the other. Then I decided to tuck the string into my glove where it would be safe and wouldn't fall out. We finally get to a place where we stop and our "guide" leaves us, telling us our owner will be along to collect us shortly and that we will then be sold.

The first thing that happens is a gun goes off behind us. A man who had been hidden in the shadows walks up and begins barking orders. He has us get into two lines. Now, the entire day, I had been telling Maurice "Don't you *dare* leave me. You better not get caught and leave me by myself. Don't you leave me." So what's the first thing that happens? Our owner separates us into "bucks" (the boys) and "breeders" (the girls). Then he gets us in a line and we are marched down the hill to a campfire where the people we are being sold to are waiting.

A woman and two men walk up and down our lines, asking questions and yelling when we don't give the correct answer. (Which, there were no correct answers.) I was asked what kind of work I could do and I said "Anything you need, Ma'am." The lady said, "Well, I know that girlie. I'm gonna own you. You'll do whatever I tell you to, won't you?" "Yes Ma'am." "So what kind of work can you do?" "Field work, Ma'am." "Field work? Let me see those hands. Take off those gloves. Probably stole those from someone." At this point, I almost panicked. I did NOT want to lose my string and it was tucked in my glove. Fortunately I got them off and still held onto the string.

They decided to buy us and took us up a hill to a pile of wood and told us to make a new pile. They had the girls running the wood back and forth and they had Maurice and the other boy just standing there holding pieces of wood out in front of them. Because we weren't allowed to look anyone in the eyes and because they had us moving back and forth, the girls didn't notice when our owners left. I had been wondering how we were supposed to escape but they built in the opportunity for us. A couple of women came out and found us and so began our escape on the Underground Railroad.

We had to escape from a bounty hunter. (And I had forgotten just how fast Maurice can run.) Then we were helped by a Quaker family. (I tell you what, the Quaker's son was fione! I told this to Maurice on the way home and he goes "That's your take home lesson? The Quakers had a hot son?!") While the Quaker's son was leading us through the town, we were captured again and had to leave two of our party behind, which didn't have Maurice and me upset. Those teenagers would have been *dead* had we really been runaways. They were tramping through the corn stalks, talking and laughing. Then after we escaped out the back door, they went right up to these people at a campfire, assuming they were friendly. Fortunately they were. Our next stop was a free black family's home. Then we made it to the end where an old woman told us our "destiny". Maurice and I were both caught and returned to a plantation. Maurice died there. I, however, left his butt there and made it to freedom. :-D

We were then taken inside and some of the staff talked to us about our experience. The weirdest part was having to remind myself that it was okay to look white people in the eyes. I had gotten so used to not being allowed to look at anyone that I had to remind myself that I am a white, American female in the 21st century.

I recommend doing Follow the North Star. It gives you a lot to think about. Whenever the "bad" white people were yelling at us and calling us degrading names, all I could think was "They hated them for no good reason. The color of their skin." A lot of people probably never really even came into contact with the people they were enslaving. They simply left it to the overseers and "wolves" (the bounty hunters). I was reminded of this when I was reading '1984' this week. "If he (an average citizen) were allowed contact with foreigners he would discover that they are creatures similar to himself and that most of what he has been told about them is lies. The sealed world in which he lives would be broken, and the fear, hatred and self-righteousness on which his morale depends might evaporate." It is easy to fear and hate what you do not know. But that doesn't make it right.

Despite all of the evil in the world, despite the fact that people treat one another the way I was treated during this experience (and much, much worse), I still somehow believe in love. What's even more amazing is the fact that the people who went through it for real, the people who were really slaves, the people who were abused by the Nazis, the people who still today are hated for the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes, they still believe in love too. Not all of them. Some have become embittered. Because hate can do that, if you let it. But if you let it, then there is no use in putting up a fight. They have already won.

Through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can't murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can't establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can't murder hate. Darkness cannot put out darkness. Only light can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.